Until today, I didn't have a New Year's Resolution for 2019 (other than to successfully bring a new life into this world but can that really be my resolution???).
Today I am 38.5 weeks pregnant and sometime around 37 weeks I decided I was done being pregnant. But, today I looked at my situation from a different perspective. Instead of complaining about how swollen my hands and feet are, and how tired and winded I get, I decided to be grateful that my body is carrying this baby so well. I'm grateful to be at this point. I'm amazed that I can be at this point and still feel pretty good overall.
I know I have to relinquish my desire for control in this situation. I can't have this baby when I want to have him. I will have this baby when God and baby are ready. It really has nothing to do with me. Weird.
So, this realization led me to my 2019 resolution: TO TRUST GOD IN EVERYTHING.
I realize that sounds like a simple resolution but will ultimately be a gargantuan task for me. I am an independent person. I'm a type A planner. I like to feel that I have some control of my life. But, the psychological, emotional, and spiritual benefits of surrendering control are healthy and positive for our well-being! What could be a better resolution for 2019 than a healthy and positive well-being?
Relationships, finances, career, parenting... I am going to trust God with all of it.
Like I mentioned earlier, this will be a huge challenge. And 2019 should provide me with a great start... birthing a human! Instead of allowing stress and anxiety to control this experience, I will focus on trusting that God already knows exactly how the delivery will go!
I have some strategies for how to develop this trust and if/when I find successful methods I may share them here. Otherwise, this will be a personal journey that I hope brings an increase in happiness in my already very happy life.
Finally, in an effort to communicate as much as possible with friends and family far away, I am going to DO MY VERY BEST to blog more regularly (which, let's face it, will just end up being photo dumps of the baby and dog). Perhaps weekly? That may be a bit lofty once I have a newborn. But hey, it's good to have goals, right?
Stay tuned!
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