Outside My Southern Comfort Zone: Becoming a Mother

Y'all... the newborn stage is HARD. I mean, they send you home from the hospital with this impossibly tiny human being and you're just supposed to KNOW how to keep it alive???

You return home... to your place where everything is familiar and comfortable... and yet everything is drastically different and seems impossibly difficult. Babies take up ALL of your time (particularly if you're a breastfeeding mother). I won't lie, I cried almost as much as the baby in those earliest days. It was hard.

It was also exponentially harder due to the astronomical amount of snow we got in a very short period of time. It wasn't about cabin fever... it was about NEEDING my husband's help in the evenings. Mike was back at work and then would have to come home to HOURS of snow removal when all I desperately wanted was him inside the house, holding the baby so mama could have her hands free for just a bit. And then, he got stuck in Sacramento for work and couldn't get home... Clayton and I had our first solo night together (which we SURVIVED!!!). It was incredibly tough.

Finally the snow let up a little (I won't say it stopped... because there has been a STEADY stream of storms but luckily they aren't producing the same crazy amount of snow).

And then we turned a corner. We fell into what resembles a routine. His cries started to have meaning. There was something suddenly predictable and familiar with his actions. He would flash the most beautiful, toothless smile on the planet... and I fell even more in love with my son which I didn't think was possible!

I went from PRAYING he would sleep, and wondering how long God would allow this nap time to last... to missing him during nap time (to the point that I would consider waking him up just so we could snuggle). I went from pretty much hating breastfeeding in the early days, to loving that I am the only person on this planet who can provide this nourishment for my child. And where I hated sitting still for so long initially, I now look forward to this time of quiet bonding with my son.

It's amazing the shift that happens. Honest truth: those first few weeks I kept thinking, "What have we done???" Now, I know that Clayton is exactly what Mike and I need. He's already taught us valuable lessons about communication and relying on each other. We are so blessed to be making this transition into parenthood. I feel so blessed that I am slowly but surely becoming a mother. And I love watching my husband (who had really never held a baby for more than a few minutes) become a father. I couldn't be more grateful for this amazing, rewarding, complicated, life-changing adventure!